Simpsons Packet

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The following packet was written by Hayden Hurst. Please direct any comments here.

Simpsons Packet

Toss-Ups

Embalming, Debt Collecting, TV Trivia, Archery, and Patch Forgery are some of its patches. Warren, Todd, and Bart are some of its members, and Sponge Bath the Old Folks Day is one of its activities. They are not however, affiliated with the Boy Scouts of America. For ten points, name this group whose lowest rank is Pussywillow.
ANSWER : _JUNIOR CAMPERS_
For a quick ten points, sing the first two lines of the "Flaming Moe’s song".
ANSWER : When the weight of the world has got you down
And you want to end your life
Nina Totenberg, Gertrude Stein, and Eleanor Roosevelt, among others, influenced her. Kent Brockman likes her, while Smithers hates her. She is not named Wendy Windbag, Minerva, or Hortense, the Mule-Faced Doll, but is fond of saying "trust in yourself and you can achieve anything". For ten points, name this creation of Stacey Lovell and Lisa Simpson.
ANSWER : _LISA LIONHEART_
A graphic in "Eye on Springfield" shows him chasing a young woman. He also appears in a daydream of Bart’s and begins to rap in the Beer Hall of Presidents. Bart and Lisa use his name in a jumprope rhyme while Homer is working out. Troy McClure appeared in a movie about him - sort of. Homer also says that he sold poisoned milk to schoolchildren. For ten points, name this president who forms the last hole at Sir Putt-a-Lot’s Merrie Olde Fun Centre.
ANSWER : Abraham _LINCOLN_
In the episode "Rosebud", they’re guarding Mr. Burn’s castle. In "The Old Man and The Lisa", Burns alleges that Mother Nature besets the Earth with certain versions of them. They’ve also given Bart head lice and Milhouse a very nasty illness. For ten points, name this animal grouping which includes MoJo as a member.
ANSWER : _MONKEY_s
Billy Crystal. God. Emmys. Darwin. H2WHOA! Grandpa. The boy. Fat free lard. Stern Lecture Plumbing. Soloflex. For ten points, name this list whose most recent addition is Econo Save
ANSWER : _HOMER’S REVENGE LIST_
It’s Barney’s dream as a high schooler, Marge’s dream for Bart, and its diploma is highly coveted by Otto - although not as much as a lobster harmonica. It was also supposedly attended by Lionel Hutz and is a prolific employer of Itchy and Scratchy animators. For ten points, name this university whose second-rate status was confirmed when they skipped TRASHionals.
ANSWER : _HARVARD_ University
At the corners are the Capital City Goofball, Wally Cox, Barry White, and Charlie - not Cliff Arquette - who refuses to move. Troy McClure, Rainier Wolfcastle, and Princess Cashmere also appear. Lurleen Lumpkin’s in the center - well, she was until a tidal wave hits, for ten points, what game show?
ANSWER : _SPRINGFIELD SQUARES_
The Comic Book Guy. Apu. Snake. Dr. Nick Riviera. Akira. Drederick Tatum. Bumblebee Man. Knightboat. For ten points, name the person who does all of these voices while still being able to avoid getting crushed by Godzilla.
ANSWER : Hank _AZARIA_
It began on a Saturday and it includes Troy McClure, Krusty the Klown, Princess Cashmere, and Mayor Quimby, among others. It peaked at number one - until it was was replaced by Funky-See Funky-Doo’s "I Do Believe We’re Naked". Its proceeds - if any- will be thrown down a well. For ten points, name this song.
ANSWER : _WE’RE SENDING OUR LOVE DOWN A WELL_
Ned Flanders actually thinks that he’s responsible, since he watched Married, With Children. It was originally transported in a juice loosener. Burns’s precautions go awry when Homer is found inside a sealed chamber eating a sandwich. It causes Todd to speak in tongues and makes Arnie Pie throw up on Otto. For ten points, name this disease, which is easily recognizable from its green cloud.
ANSWER : _OSAKA FLU_
When not near the Simpsons, they’re quite happy - witness them at the Singing Sirloin. They do have their mean streak - witness their laughing when they see Homer trying to kill himself. Then again - maybe it’s deserved - Santa’s Little Helper plays in their pool. Their torture is ended when Sylvia and her husband move to Florida. For ten points, name this couple.
ANSWER : _WINFIELD_s
It’s the best of both worlds. At one end: hard-hitting issues like Drederick Tatum, the anniversary of the Springfield Tire Yard Fire, a group of rapping rabbis, a man who can’t stop hiccuping, and a story on the Itchy and Scatchy movie. On the other - bikinis, and lots of ‘em. For ten points, name this ‘news’ show anchored by Kent Brockman, the original info-tainment
ANSWER : _EYE ON SPRINGFIELD_
He has bowled, sought advice from the Listen Lady, and taken pictures of a naked Patty and Selma. His work has included exploring, selling a CD with a commercial, running a restaurant, and running a lighthouse. He particularly likes sunsets the movie Splash. For ten points, name this proprietor of the Frying Dutchman who actually isn’t a captain.
ANSWER : Captain _MCALLISTER_
15. It’s approximately eight and a half inches tall and was originally produced in 1959 by the PetroChem Petrochemical Corporation. It has gone through many incarnations, including being made of onion meal and having a new hat. Its 1994 convention was held at the San Diego Airport Hilton. For ten points, name this doll.
ANSWER : _MALIBU STACY_
Lisa won’t complete it unless Homer listens to her poem. Bart originally won’t do it until Homer tells Bart it’s like the time Homer let him vote. Bart then proceeds to answer that Homer hears voices, wets his pants, and is quick to anger. For ten points, name this test which can determine just how crazy, or ‘meshuggeneh’ (Meh-shugg-en-UH) someone is.
ANSWER : Marvin Monroe take-home _PERSONALITY TEST_
His mother’s name is Nana, he’s friends with Jerry, and his most recent date was with Starla. This graduated from Gudger College has not been successful in business, however - he was fired from his old job and his singing career is going nowhere - so much so that he has to rely on alimony from Luann. For ten points, name this Springfieldian.
ANSWER : Kirk _VAN HOUTEN_
His mother is Lily Bancroft, and he grew up in an orphanage. He’s not exactly the brightest penny in the fountain, as his SAT score is below 300 and he spelled Yale with a six. He has also taken lessons on a player piano and seen a blimp. For ten points, name this souvenir stand proprietor, Waynesport native, and son of Montgomery Burns.
ANSWER : _LARRY BURNS_
Bart fixes test scores and drops banana peels on the floor. He also puts mothballs in beef stew. When he’s not being grounded, but when he is daydreaming during a recital, he goes around the world, swaying his hips and moving his body from front to back in a rock-like motion. For ten points, name this dance.
ANSWER : Do the _BARTMAN_
It begins with Bart writing ‘I am not a 32-year old woman’. It shows us that Maude’s nickname is Popcorn Ball and Ned’s is Sponge Cake. It also introduces us to the power of geometry and Lao Tzu (L-Ow! Tsoo), as well as an inanimate object variously named Mom, Charlene, and Mr. Putter. For ten points, name this episode, whose title is a take-off on the only famous movie ever filmed in Delaware.
ANSWER : _DEAD PUTTING SOCIETY_
Our universities are not "hotbeds" of anything. The "Cheers" gang is not a real gang. V8 juice is not 1/8 gasoline. The Beatles haven't reunited to enter kickboxing competitions. Licking an electrical outlet does not turn you into a Mighty Morphin’ Power Ranger. These are just some of the corrections, for ten points, on what show, whose list of corrections also exonerated Homer Simpson of being an ass-grabber?
ANSWER : _ROCK BOTTOM_
His driver’s license says that his name is Ralph Mellish", and he first appeared in "Principal Charming". He’s been a truck driver numerous times, including once when he was run off the road while transporting Edgar Allen Poe’s house. He also has dated Selma, is a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, and was being prepared to be executed in a local jail. For ten points, name this thirty-one year old who looks like he’s one hundred and thirty-one.
ANSWER : _HANS MOLEMAN_
"They call me Dr. Soybeans" and "Can We Trust Bermuda?" are some of its many articles. "Give me learning, sir, and you may keep your black bread" is just one of its many tidbits. Meatloaf men and inspiring stories of wilderness survival are a few others. For ten points, name this magazine whose contest includes the Bronx, Rosemount, Minnesota, and Springfield, among others.
ANSWER : _READING DIGEST_
It occurred seven years after the B-sharps and was so popular that a Malibu Stacy outfit was themed on it. It is also evidently quite popular for recreation at the Springfield Retirement Castle. For ten points, name this song which has also given its named to a groin disorder.
ANSWER : _ACHY BREAKY HEART_
They actually made their debut in the Tracy Ullman shorts. According to The Simpsons, they started in the early 1980s, and there have been at least seven of them. Perhaps not surprisingly, Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krababppel go to see this - it is sort of a date movie. For ten points, name this movie series, of which Jimbo has been kicked out at least four times.
ANSWER : _SPACE MUTANTS_

Bonuses

Given a description, name the character voiced by Phil Hartman for ten points each.
A) A frequently unemployed lawyer, - he … you really don’t think that these are going to be that easy, do you? He picks football games and has his own ‘Lock of the Week’.
ANSWER : Smooth Jimmy _APOLLO_
B) An F-14 pilot, he lent Bart a neural disrupter
ANSWER : _TOM_
C) He is a member of the State Department’s Brat and Punk Division.
ANSWER : Evan _CONOVER_
2. It’s time for the ‘Superfriends’! Except for Lisa and Bart, please identify the other five members of the Superfriends for five points each.
ANSWER : _HAM_ Radio, _DATABASE_, _EMAIL_, _COSINE_, _REPORT CARD_

Now give Bart’s new name in the Superfriends
ANSWER : _COSMOS_
3. Homer like to talk to TV, particularly when beauty pageants are on. Given the contestant, give what Homer says. Ten points each.

A) Miss Montana
ANSWER : _THE BEAUT FROM BUTTE_
B) Miss South Carolina
ANSWER : _NOTHING COULD BE FINER_
C) Miss Delaware
ANSWER : Uhhh …. _GOOD FOR HER_
4. Homer sez ‘Increase Your Vocabulary'. Given the definition, give the term, 5-10-15.
5 - Like a gourmet, only fatter
ANSWER : _GOURMAND_
10 - Where a French guy does it
ANSWER : _BOUDOIR_ (boo-dwahr)
15 - I don’t know
ANSWER : _MACHIAVELLIAN_
5. Singer trivia time. Ten points each
A) Marge’s favorite singer
ANSWER : Tom _JONES_
B) He gives the B-sharps their Grammy
ANSWER : David _CROSBY_
C) They steal food from Peter Frampton’s cooler
ANSWER : _SONIC YOUTH_
6. Answer the following questions about "Homer vs. The Eighteenth Amendment" for ten points each.
A) Name the beer that Duff promotes after the ordinance is enacted
ANSWER : _DUFF ZERO_
B) Name the Elliot Ness character who tries to clean up Springfield.
ANSWER : REX _BANNER_
C) What does Moe disguise his bar as?
ANSWER : _PET STORE_
You can get a Gould-en thirty points - no, not from Eliot - if you can answer these questions from "22 Short Films about Springfield". Ten points each.
A) Name the title of the sketch about Apu
ANSWER : _THE JOLLY BENGALI_
B) Who sponsors "Swing Serenade"?
ANSWER : _GORMAN’S_ Ear Guards
C) What college shirt is Snake wearing?
ANSWER : _MIDDLEBURY_
Time for songs which have been sung by members of the Simpsons. Name ‘em - ten points each.
A) Moe sings this song with Aerosmith
ANSWER : _WALK THIS WAY_
B) Homer sings altered lyrics to this infamous Barry Manilow song in the shower.
ANSWER : _MANDY_
C) Otto plays this song on Bart’s guitar while on the schoolbus.
ANSWER : _FREEBIRD_
Answer the following questions about relationships to the national anthem for the stated number of points.
5 - Who plays the national anthem in ‘Dancin’ Homer’?
ANSWER : Bleeding Gums _MURPHY_
10 - Who sings the national anthem in "Wild Barts Can’t Be Broken"?
ANSWER : Cyndi _LAUPER_
15 - According to the blackboard, what does Bart promise not to do with the national anthem?
ANSWER : _BELCH_ it
Name the arcade game from some clues, 10-5. A hint - none are made by Aklaim.
A) 10 - Bart plays it in "Bart Star". It only takes dollars.
5 - Its dialogue includes "Slut" and "Bitch"
ANSWER : _CATFIGHT_
B) 10 - Martin plays this game in "Boy Scoutz ‘N The Hood"
5 - This game’s three control options are Trenchant Insight, Bon Mot, and Tell Me More.
ANSWER : _MY DINNER WITH ANDRE_
C) 10 - Instead of studying like for his colonial history test like he should, Bart plays a video game in "Bart Gets An F".
5 - He loses when he gets kissed.

ANSWER : _ESCAPE FROM GRANDMA’S HOUSE_
Time for a music question. Five points for each song from clues - five point bonus for all correct. Hint - they’re all from the 80s.
A) It’s played as the Investorettes are named Fleet-A-Pita franchisees.
ANSWER : (I’ve got a) _NEW ATTITUDE_, by Patti LaBelle
B) It’s played at the end of "Simpsons Bible Stories"
ANSWER : _HIGHWAY TO HELL_, by AC/DC
C) This song plays at the end of "D’oh-in in the wind"
ANSWER : _UPTOWN GIRL_, by Billy Joel
D) Played as Bart and Skinner search lockers - it’s also done when Bart climbs down the well
ANSWER : _AXEL F_, by Harold Faltermeyer
E) It’s Homer’s favorite song
ANSWER : _IT’S RAINING MEN_, by The Weather Girls
Time for some video game questions. Identify them for ten points each.
A) Lisa plays it while sick - it is plagued by a troll and mice with nunchucks.
ANSWER : _DASH DINGO_
B) Milhouse’s name is entered in it as Thrilhou (thrill-how).
ANSWER : _BONESTORM_
C) The game where convicted criminals dig at each other with rusty hooks. Ashley Grant owns a copy.
ANSWER : _DISEMBOWLER IV_
Answer these Itchy and Scratchy-themed questions for the stated number of points.
A) After Gabbo eliminates Itchy and Scratchy, Krusty brings in another cartoon. Name it for five points.
ANSWER : _WORKER AND PARASITE_
B) Lisa told Bart that two stars had parts in The Itchy and Scratchy Movie. Name them for five points each
ANSWER : Dustin HOFFMAN_, Michael _JACKSON__
C) The Itchy and Scratchy and Friends Hour included three new characters. Name em for five points each
ANSWER : _DISGRUNTLED GOAT_, _UNCLE ANT_, _KU KLUX KLAM_
There were six alternate of endings for ‘Who Shot Mr. Burns" that were never intended to air - each of which gave a different villain/hero. Name them all for five points each.
ANSWER : _SMITHERS_, _TITO PUENTE_, _SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER_, _BARNEY_, _MOE_, _APU_
Time for a "Homer at the Bat" question that doesn’t ask you to name everybody on the team. Given where they’re found, name the player - five points each with a five-point bonus for all five.
A) Hunting
ANSWER : Mike _SCIOSCIA_
B) Graceland
ANSWER : Ozzie _SMITH_
C) Card Show
ANSWER : Jose _CANSECO_
D) At home, doing the dishes
ANSWER : Don _MATTINGLY_
E) Playing in a jazz club
ANSWER : Steve _SAX_
How well do you know your Springfield stores? Answer the following questions for ten points each
A) Bart goes to this Chuck E. Cheese knock-off for his birthday party
ANSWER : _WALL. E. WEASEL’S_
B) This store is run by Jerry and is right next to Moe’s.
ANSWER : _KING TOOT’S_
C) Akira moonlights at this Japanese restaurant
ANSWER : The _HAPPY SUMO_
Time for a CANT question - you know, the career test. Answer the following for ten points each.
A) Name the computer that evaluates CANT for ten points.
ANSWER : _EMMA_
B) What is Ralph scientifically selected to be?
ANSWER : _SALMON GUTTER_
C) Mrs. Krabappel complains that life is not fair by citing the fact that she has a Master’s. From where?
ANSWER : _BRYN MAWR_
I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half! Time for some prank phone call trivia. Given Moe’s request, name the person being asked for.
A) Hey, everybody, I wanna .
ANSWER : _SEYMOUR BUTZ_
B) Has anybody seen lately?
ANSWER : _MIKE ROTCH_
C) Hey, I’m looking for ! Why can’t I find a ?
ANSWER : _AMANDA HUGGENKISS_
19 . Time for some questions about people playing with yo-yos.
A) Name the yo-yo team which performs at Springfield Elementary for ten points.
ANSWER : _TWIRL KING_
B) There are four members of Twirl King. Name all of them for five points each.
ANSWER : _ZERO GRAVITY_, _SPARKLE_, _MR. AMAZING_, _THE COBRA_
It’s time for the type of excitement that only low-scoring and lots of ties can bring - time for a soccer bonus!
A) For five points each, name the two countries playing for the championship of the world.
ANSWER : _MEXICO_, _PORTUGAL_
B) For ten points, who won the week at Pele’s soccer and acting camp?
ANSWER : _NELSON_ Muntz
C) For ten points, soccer team members from what country are working at the nuclear power plant?
ANSWER : _BRAZIL_
Identify the following characters from Krusty’s show - ten points each.
A) A monkey on roller skates
ANSWER : _MR. TEENY_
B) Krusty’s new, court-appointed sidekick.
ANSWER : _MS. NO-MEANS-NO_
C) She’s not on the show, but she is Krusty’s secretary
ANSWER : Lois _PENNYCANDY_
Identify the sports stars who appeared on the Simpsons, 5-10-15.
A) He gives Homer a congratulatory phone call for preventing a nuclear catastrophe.
ANSWER : Earvin "Magic" _JOHNSON_
B) He promotes Crestfield Wax Paper for a lot of money
ANSWER : _PELE_
C) He presented the First Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence.
ANSWER : Joe _FRAZIER_
We may remember Troy McClure from some television shows and suchlike. Given the item in which he actually appears, name the two other works that he promotes for five points each. If you need one of the titles, you can name the other for five points.
A) 60 Minutes of Car Crash Victims
ANSWERS : (give) _ALICE’S ADVENTURES THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD GLASS_,

_THE DECAPITATION OF LARRY LEADFOOT_
B) Adjusting Your Self-O-Stat
ANSWERS : (give)_SMOKE YOURSELF THIN_

_GET CONFIDENT, STUPID_
C) Carnival of the Stars ANSWERS : (give) _THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF HERCULES_

_DIAL M FOR MURDEROUSNESS_
Answer the following questions about "Treehouse of Horror VI" for ten points each.
A) Who sings "Just Don’t Look" with Lisa in the first episode?
ANSWER : ‘Mr.’ Paul _ANKA_
B) Name the show that Bart and Lisa watch to stay awake.
ANSWER : _ASIAN MARKET WRAPUP_
C) Name the movie that only Chief Wiggum admits to having seen - for a second.
ANSWER : _TRON_
Bienvenidos a el bonus! Answer the following questions whose answers are all South American countries on a 5-10-15 basis.
5 - After looking at a globe, Homer’s amused by this country’s name.
ANSWER : _URUGUAY_ (accept You-are-gay)
10 - Eyelash implants aren’t illegal here.
ANSWER : _PARAGUAY_
15 - The tree lizards come out of a box of oven-fresh donuts from what country?
ANSWER : _BOLIVIA_

Index