The following packet was written by Hayden Hurst. Please direct any comments here.

The Fifth Simpsons Packet

Toss-Ups

The Simpsons' first Emmy win for Outstanding Music and Lyrics in 1997 came for "We Put The Spring In Springfield". It's second came one year later, with a song that involved no traditional Simpsons cast members. It is, however, a relatively elaborate number - moving from Los Angeles to elsewhere in California - all while never leaving New York. Oh, and it also involves strapping down Liza Minelli. For ten points, name this song, a key feature of the Broadway play "Kickin' It".

ANSWER : You're _CHECKING IN_ (accept "I'm Checking In") (accept "We Put The Spring In Springfield" before it's said)
Its adjunct gets its name from Chief Starving Bear, and it's located on Bid Snake Lake and below Mount Avalanche. It was originally run by Mr. Black - afterwards, it was worse than Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq put together. For ten points, name this Krustiest place on Earth.

ANSWER : _KAMP KRUSTY_
The answer is sort of a tie. In any case, it does not involve running around a beer truck or marrying Marge. It may involve a Krustyburger, an hour-long episode of Mama's family, and Lisa's birth. However, it's probably involves skipping church, winning a radio contest, making moon waffles, and finding a penny. For ten points, what am I talking about?

ANSWER : _BEST DAY OF HOMER'S LIFE_ (accept equivalents)
You've got to bring your own chair if you want to hear him speak, but it's worth it. You'll get three ways to get back to the highway - and you'll learn how to get a tux cheap (if Roy Cohn died in it) and beautiful women (if they used to be men). Thanks to him, the Flanders live a Burt Reynolds lifestyle on a Mac Davis income and the Simpsons go on a Mega Savings trip to Japan. For ten points, name this man whose mantra is "squeeze every penny".

ANSWER : Chuck _GARABEDIAN_
Homer bought some stock at IPO Friday's. That's good. He chose a company that made a product with which he had direct personal experience at a festival and after getting Lenny and Carl's concurrence that cartoon opossums are cool. That's also good. The company's stock dropped seventy-eight points and declared super duper bankruptcy, causing Homer to lose his money. That was bad. For ten points, name this company which specializes in motion-capture animation.

ANSWER : _ANIMOTION_
A lesser-known employee is Stanley Peterson. More well-known people who have stopped by include Homer, Bart, Hans Moleman, Otto, and most famously, Troy McClure. Smoking is forbidden and their bowling team is the Regulation Kings. For ten points, name this bureaucracy where Patty and Selma work.

ANSWER : _DMV_
His voice supposedly caused a lot of murder-suicides - though the product he was attached to did have more features than a NASA relief map of Turkmenistan. If you found that funny, you're one in a million - or, for ten points, part of a ratio named after which comedian?

ANSWER : Dennis _MILLER_
Itchy The Engineer. Drink Duff Beer. Free As A Bird. A Salute To Halftime. A Salute To Hazing. Drunken Irish Novelists of Springfield. For ten points, these are all what?

ANSWER : _FLOATS_
Homer gives it up early, which really hurts - he lost his couch, and this would have been the perfect replacement. However, Herb really needs two thousand dollars, so Homer helps him make his baby translator a success. And, in return, Homer gets something to fill a void in his life - one that family, religion, and church haven't been able to fill. For ten points, name this ultimate in relaxation.

ANSWER : _SPINE MELTER 2000_
"That's Catholic, Marge ... Voodoo". "We Don't Have a Prayer!" "I'd Sell My Soul for a Donut". Epiphany on the Sofa. Cloaking the Sacred With the Profane? These are just some of the chapters in this book which seeks to address religion in the Simpsons. For ten points, name this book by Mark Pinsky.

ANSWER : _THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO THE SIMPSONS_
Bart's rival in this case is Dr. Tongue. However, it's a worthy quest, because both are competing for the affections of someone who can waltz, knows Middle Eastern food, and can read palms. We can guess Bart is waiting until he can grow a bad teenaged mustache. In other words, Sara Gilbert chose a good character to voice. For ten points, name Bart's first crush.

ANSWER : _LAURA_ Powers (prompt on "Powers")
Waiter, Food, Atmosphere, Cleanliness, and Ambiance all score poor - at least according to Bart. Dishes include the cod and squid platters, and the restaurants are labeled Buoys and Gulls. You probably know it best for its bachelor parties in the Davey Jones' Locker room. For ten points, name this seafood restaurant.

ANSWER : _RUSTY BARNACLE_
As Homer rides Lisa's bike to work. As Sherri finds out she won't be saved in the event of nuclear attack. As Jay Sherman gets hit with a football. When Bart says he lost his stamp collection. As Bart leaves class in his Junior Campers uniform. For ten points, name this catchphrase of Nelson Muntz heard after all of the above.

ANSWER : _HA-HA_
Its aftermath causes Homer to start a feud with the trash collectors - not really in keeping with its spirit, you'd think. It is not Christmas Two or Spendover, though it was created by a company interested in more gougeables. Key components include Sir Loves-A-Lot and Lord Huggington. For ten points, name this quasi-holiday.

ANSWER : _LOVE DAY_
Mr. Mitchell has quite a bit of it. Marge's quilt makes a reference to it. When he leaves a store for false advertising, it's a good bet Otto was referring the store's lack of this. Skinner smelled some in Vietnam. Homer wants to go to Jamaica so he can pass it on the left hand side. For ten points, name this drug Homer used after being attacked by crows.

ANSWER : _MARIJUANA_ (accept reasonable equivalents)
It was inspired by the company that produced "I Love Lucy". In the Simpsons' world, however, it's branched out - it produces numerous programs, including "News Channel Six" and "It Never Ends". But it's best known for Krusty - it's where children gathered outside when he said he was ending his show and where Bart worked as an intern. For ten points, name this production company.

ANSWER : _KRUSTYLU_ Studios
Springfield does have a record of some of his womanizing, as Eye on Springfield referenced an affair and the Maison Derriere actually has a picture of him. And the Springfield Library card catalog has him as a subject with putting the ball in the hole. And don't forget Paul Harvey passes along one of his favorite suggestions for rekindling the marital fires. For ten points, name this president who can help you get "biz-zay".

ANSWER : General Dwight David "Ike" _EISENHOWER_
He can play the violin. He bowls. He's a huge fan of Krusty. Like many other business owners, he suffers at the hands of Fat Tony. He delivers. And he makes a pizza pie with a topping of your choice. For ten points, name this owner of his namesake restaurant.

ANSWER : _LUIGI_
They work with Omnitouch to bring things like Sammy Davis, Junior's eye to Springfield. They were never partially located at the Maison Derriere. Colonel Hapablap is not relishing facing them after the Wright Brothers' plane is stolen. And Bart must like this place, since he tries out the Spirit of St. Louis. For ten points, name this museum system.

ANSWER : _SMITHSONIAN_ (National Air and Space Museum is wrong)
It was fun for everyone. Bart got to destroy a ride. Homer got to see a show that was good, if not great. Grampa got a bed to sleep in. The entire visit was designed for Maggie. And Little Bo Peep's Petting Zoo was so fun that it made Lisa want to be a vegetarian. Unfortunately, it's been out of business ever since that kid's head got chopped off. For ten points, name this amusement park which was replaced by Praiseland.

ANSWER : _STORYTOWN VILLAGE_
Homer's grandfather isn't sure if Homer practices this or not. Little Vicki denigrates it when denying Lisa's request to tap-dance in the recital, and Homer does the same when Marge voices doubts about Stampy. For ten points, name this belief system that figures very strongly in the attempted smuggling of the trillion dollar bill out of the United States.

ANSWER : _COMMUNISM_ (acc. Communist)
Cult life boring? What about annoying life-sized cartoon characters? Is school dragging on forever? Are you fed up with pranksters trying to make your cult difficult? Then don't ask questions - you need these kits that work in a BIG way! For ten points, name this trademark series that Bart loves.

ANSWER : _L'IL BASTARD_
It's one of the more versatile songs in the repertoire of The Simpsons. It's used as the music for a fashion show, while Homer waits for Bart at the Spinal Tap concert, and is playing in the waiting room where Homer meets Wally Kogen. It also always saddens Lisa since it's a signal that her parents are fighting. For ten points, name this song by Herb Alpert.

ANSWER : Little _SPANISH FLEA_
Jack Marley's retirement ceremony. The title of the Treehouse of Horror episodes where Kang and Kodos replace Clinton and Dole. The backdrop for speeches with Sideshow Bob running for mayor. The backdrop for speeches during Burns' run for governor. Planet Springfield - well, sort of. Burns' longing for Bobo. For ten points, name the movie referenced in all of the above.

ANSWER : _CITIZEN KANE_
Ned gets in a tizzy because he found a rude Frenchman. One doesn't know if he ate at Moleman's Gruel, UGLI, The Hungry Hun, The Texas Cheesecake Depository, and The Gilded Truffle. Of course, for Homer it means the attempt to kill him via an eclair with one million calories and some poison. For ten points, name this annual food event.

ANSWER : _TASTE OF SPRINGFIELD_

Bonuses

Name the following TV shows seen only on The Simpsons from quotes. Ten each.

A) "You robbed me of my manhood!"/"That's petty theft!"
ANSWER : _DON'T GO THERE_

B) I can streamline any procedure, except this thing you call love.
ANSWER : _CYBORGANIZER_

C) Shut uppa your face!
ANSWER : _ETHNIC MISMATCH COMEDY #644_
Answer the following questions on Marge's paper towel pinup fantasy for the stated number of points.

5 - Who is the flannel-clad man of Marge's dreams?
ANSWER : _BURLY_

5 - Who does Homer pick to represent Burly in his prank on Marge?
ANSWER : _BARNEY_

Of course, Homer does some fantasizing about two kitchen foods characters as well. Name both for ten points each.
ANSWER : _MAMA CELESTE_, Paul _NEWMAN_
Professor Frink, Professor Frink, he'll make you laugh, he'll make you think ... ooh, that question writer is going to pay. Five, ten, fifteen.

5 - Who does the Gamble-Tron 2000 pick to win by 200 points
ANSWER : _CINCINNATI_

10 - When Homer steals Frink's idea for Hamburger Earmuffs, Frink isn't concerned since Homer will have to figure out what?
ANSWER : _PICKLE MATRIX_

15 - It's not hard to understand what happened to Homer - according to Frink, all you need is an advanced degree in what?
ANSWER : _HYPERBOLIC TOPOLOGY_
Given two Itchy and Scratchy episodes, identify the way that Sratchy dies in both. Five for one, fifteen for two, twenty for three, and thirty for all four.

(Accept reasonable equivalents)

A) Steamboat Itchy; Guest Director Oliver Stone
ANSWER : _SHOT_

B) From Here to Infirmity; Cat Splat Fever
ANSWER : _EATEN_

C) Four Funerals and a Wedding; Scar Trek - The Next Laceration
ANSWER : _EXPLODED_

D) Field of Screams; The Itchy and Sratchy Movie (as seen by Bart and Homer)
ANSWER : _RUN OVER_
When Lisa was getting a caricature of herself at the school fair, some other people were running booths. Given the description of the booth, name its proprietor for ten each.

A) "The Paralyzer"
ANSWER : _OTTO_

B) An unlicensed Three Card Monte booth
ANSWER : _BART_

C) A Spookhouse with his name on the marquee
ANSWER : _JIMBO_
Prank call bonus time. Given the first name, give the last. Ten each.

A) Jacques
ANSWER : _STRAP_

B) Anita
ANSWER : _BATH_

C) Al
ANSWER : _COHOLIC_
Eighties song time. Identify the song, five points each. You'll get a five point bonus if you get them all.

A) The Catholic Church has made a few "changes" - all to the tune of this song played during their ad
ANSWER : _LEGS_, by ZZ Top

B) Homer is beaten up by security at a concert on the television screen while the band plays this song
ANSWER : Pride _(IN THE NAME OF LOVE)_, by U2

C) Groundskeeper Willie plays this one in the park when visited by Sherry Bobbins
ANSWER : _MANIAC_, by Michael Sembello

D) Homer drives to Birch Barlow, but Lisa drives to this movie-inspired hit.
ANSWER : _ST. ELMO'S FIRE_ (Man in Motion), by John Parr

E) Apu dances to this song at Sanjay's party
ANSWER : _FREAK-A-ZOID_, by Midnight Star
Given the description, name the guest star from last season. Ten each.

A) Garth Motherloving, who is behind the plot to increase Springfield's sugar intake.
ANSWER : Ben _STILLER_

B) Greta, Rainier Wolfcastle's daughter
ANSWER : Reese _WITHERSPOON_

C) Judge Constance Harm, who orders Homer chained to Bart
ANSWER : Jane _KACZMAREK_
You gotta dream. Homer's had a few lifelong ones. In fact, according to Marge and Homer together, he's had eight. For the first two you can name, you'll get five - all the rest are five each. Note that bowling a perfect game, ending crime and injustice, and seeing Stevie Nicks naked are not lifelong dreams (they're just things he wants to before he dies).

(Moderator - Accept equivalents)

ANSWER : _EAT THE WORLD'S BIGGEST HOAGIE_, _RUN OUT ONTO THE FIELD DURING A BASEBALL GAME_, _OWN THE DALLAS COWBOYS_, _BE A MONORAIL CONDUCTOR_, _MANAGE A Beautiful Country SINGER_, _BECOME A Blackjack DEALER_, _APPEAR ON THE GONG SHOW_, _LIVE IN THE WOODS, keeping a journal of his thoughts_
"Sugar" doesn't go in a swear jar. However, Homer's shown putting money into one after five separate occasions. You'll get five for each and thirty if you get them all.

(Moderator - Accept equivalents)

ANSWER : _DOGHOUSE CONSTRUCTION MISHAPS_, _PUTS A TWENTY DOLLAR BILL IN CHURCH COLLECTION_, _MISSED LAST BOWLING PIN_, _NED GOT A PART IN A COMMERCIAL_, _STUNG BY BEES_
College Time. Ten points each.

A) At America Town, the waiter has a T-shirt with what school on it?
ANSWER : _UCLA_

B) To get her to leave the prep school carnival, Homer offers to send Lisa to the finest university ... in what state?
ANSWER : _SOUTH CAROLINA_

C) Where did Moe go to bartending school?
ANSWER : _SWIGMORE_ University
One last music bonus. I want the artist or group for ten each. If you need the song mentioned, you'll get five.

A) 10 - A woman who looks remarkably like Homer splashes mud on Bart while singing a song by this artist
5 - I am Woman
ANSWER : Helen _REDDY_

B) 10 - Bart watches home movies of Homer's beard catching on fire to the tune of a song by this artist
5 - With A Little Help From My Friends
ANSWER : Joe _COCKER_

C) 10 - Fat Tony requests a song by this group after issuing his ultimatum to Homer
5 - Golden Earring
ANSWER : _RADAR LOVE_
Given topics covered, name the Kent Brockman show. Ten each.

A) Where's my elephant?, "Is Homer a hero?"
ANSWER : _MY TWO CENTS_

B) A real-life Noah - only he's been accused of killing two of every animal
ANSWER : _A.M. SPRINGFIELD_

C) The Springfield Angel, Springfield and vigilantism
ANSWER : _SMARTLINE_
Questions on the Tenth Treehouse of Horror. Ten each.

A) What cereal was the family had the family rescued from vampires at the start of the first episode?
ANSWER : Super _SUGAR CRISP_

B) According to The Collector, who has the "best ... death ... ever!"?
ANSWER : Lorne _GREENE_

C) Thanks to Krusty, the Simpsons learn of what plan to save the best and brightest?
ANSWER : _OPERATION EXODUS_
Ralphisms! Ten each.

A) "Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, BLANK BLANK Chalmers!"
ANSWER : _SUPER NINTENDO_

B) "Principal Skinner, I got BLANK in your office"
ANSWER : _CARSICK_

C) "I found a BLANK BLANK in my nose"
ANSWER : _MOON ROCK_
Answer the following questions regarding the period of hiatus for The Simpsons mentioned on Behind The Laughter. Ten each.

A) Fox replaced the show with footage from the dressing room at this store.
ANSWER : _ANN TAYLOR_

B) Lisa's tell-all book was called this
ANSWER : _WHERE ARE MY RESIDUALS?_

C) In "Rent II - Condo Fever", Homer plays this character
ANSWER : _MR. STINGELY_
Given the clue, name the country. Ten each.

A) This country's gymnast is a heartwarming story at the '84 games after getting a perfect score while breaking his leg.
ANSWER : South _KOREA_

B) Homer thinks he saw Hugo boarding a plane to here.
ANSWER : _SWITZERLAND_

C) This country has built a giant motorized Rubik's cube for the Knoxville World's Fair.
ANSWER : _HUNGARY_
Mmmmmmmmmmm - mmmmmm questions. Given the setting, name what comes after Homer's mmmm. Ten each.

A) Homer's "mmm" at the sumo match
ANSWER : _FIFTY-DOLLAR PRETZEL_

B) Homer's "mmm" after trying Marge's pepper spray
ANSWER : _INCAPACITATING_

C) Homer's "mmm" after he smells the candle Bart receives for killing all the pigeons
ANSWER : _LOGANBERRY_
I'll give you at least some culture for the weekend. Given the context, name the Shakespeare work referenced for ten each.

A) Ned Flanders prays that "Guys and Dolls" will be better than this play with Peter Marshall.
ANSWER : _OTHELLO_

B) In another dinner theater misadventure, Krusty bombs terribly. Homer's review is not kind.
ANSWER : _KING LEAR_

C) My favorite Simpsons scene of all time involves Ralph running away in fear after Bart delivers a line from this Shakespearean play at Radioactive Man tryouts.
ANSWER : _RICHARD III_
Time to go traveling with Patty and Selma. Ten points each.

A) The night Sideshow Bob robbed the Kwik-E-Mart, Patty and Selma were going to show slides of their trip to where?
ANSWER : _YUCATAN_ (Prompt on "Mexico")

B) During the Treehouse of Horror episode where Homer is sucked into the Mystery Wall, Patty and Selma bring seashells from where?
ANSWER : _SULFUR BAY_

C) Homer invented the Flaming Moe after seeing the results of Patty being unable to shave in what country?
ANSWER : _CZECHLOSLOVAKIA_
Chalkboard openings. Fill in the blank - five points each.

A) SpongeBob is not a BLANK
ANSWER : _CONTRACEPTIVE_

B) I will not send BLANK through the mail
ANSWER : _LARD_

C) Substitute teachers are not BLANK
ANSWER : _SCABS_

D) I will not BLANK the monkey bars
ANSWER : _GREASE_

E) I am not Charlie Brown on BLANK
ANSWER : _ACID_

F) Pork is not a BLANK
ANSWER : _VERB_
Mono means one and bonus means bonus (or "good", but usually bonus). Given the question, name the character who asks it for ten points each

A) Were you sent here by the devil?
ANSWER : _ABE_ "Grandpa" Simpsons

B) I heard those things are awfully loud
ANSWER : _MISS HOOVER_

C) The ring came off my pudding can
ANSWER : Chief Clancy _WIGGUM_
Hooah! It's a Simpsons military question! Ten points each, solider!

A) There are two forts specifically mentioned as "forts" in Springfield. One is "Fort Springfield". What's the other?
ANSWER : Fort _FRAGG_

B) Name of the captain of the submarine Homer is on during naval exercises
ANSWER : _TENILLE_

C) Thanks to Tom and an unprecedented eight-year military buildup, what does Bart bring in to Show and Tell?
ANSWER : _NEURO-DISRUPTOR_ (Accept "neural disruptor")
Time for a bonus on Troy McClure. Ten each.

A) According to Troy, where did shoplifting begin?
ANSWER : _PHOENICIA_

B) In "Pepsi Presents Fractions", Troy calls on a girl in what city?
ANSWER : _CHICAGO_

C) In "Meat and You - Partners in Freedom", what child does Troy talk to?
ANSWER : _JIMMY_
Given the Party Posse lyric, give the words to complete the line. Ten each.

A) We're the best band in the world/
But we'd give it all up for that BLANK BLANK
ANSWER : _SPECIAL GIRL_

B) There's trouble in a far-off nation/
Time to get in BLANK BLANK
ANSWER : _LOVE FORMATION_

C) Had a girl in every port/
from here to BLANK
ANSWER : _BARCELONA_

Index